Breastfeeding revived

I remember my first few posts after delivering Kaelyn have been revolving around 1 topic - breastfeeding. Kaelyn's going to turn 1 in another month's time. And I am very very proud to say that I am still breastfeeding her, although she started on formula for the afternoon feed at around 9+ months. I intend to stop breastfeeding altogether right after she turns 1, as I intend to go for a 1 week trip with David then... without Kaelyn.. More about this another time.

So when I look back at my breastfeeding journey over the past 11 months, I think I am going to 'miss' expressing milk for Kaelyn.

I will remember:

- how in the first month I struggled to get breastfeeding started - dealing with bleeding nipple, extreme pain, low volume, waking up every 2 - 3 hours in the night to feed, getting Kaelyn in the correct feeding position, having to rely on some formula to keep up with her demands...

- how I got the hang of it after 2 - 3 months and could latch her on every 3 hourly and stop formula altogether.

- when she turned 4 months, she refused to latch on. I had to pump every 3 hours to keep the supply going and bottle feed her the breast milk. From then on, she will just latch on only when she's in the mood and soon after, I stopped latching her on altogether.

- this posed a problem because each time we bring Kaelyn out, we would have to bring the pump machine, mini freezer to store the milk, hot water to defrost and heat the frozen milk, and milk bottles... actually I dont know of any mother who does this and I am proud of myself for persevering even when my baby refused to latch on..

- My supply started to build up in the fridge at first, as I was expressing more than she required. Then the bottles got 'promoted' up into the freezer.

- Then Kaelyn went through a difficult teething period at 6months that she was drinking very very little. At that point, the milk inventory in the freezer grew so rapidly that I soon ran out of space and had to cut down on the frozen meat we buy. At the peak, I had over 100 bottles in the freezer.

- David had to keep going back to TMC to 'beg' for more bottles to store the milk in. Thanks hubby! Luckily Kaelyn recovered soon after and started to drink more so we didnt have to buy an extra freezer.

- My pumping sessions stretched from 3 hourly to 4, 5 and then 6 hourly when I first went back to work. All the time I spent on expressing was also spent on watching VV dramas. The SCV box accompanied me through my milk expressing moments.

- At work, there was no nursing room or a suitable room for me to express milk. I had to do it in the handicapped toilet. I really really hated the idea, plus I didnt have time to keep up with the 6 hourly routine. So soon I was expressing every 8 hours, and then 12 hours (once in the morning and when I go back).

- When Kaelyn was around 8 months, I had severe food poisoning and had to be on antbiotics. My milk supply dropped to an all time low and never really picked up thereafter. The milk which I expressed then would also have to be discarded. This freed up space in the freezer.

- Now I am still on the 12 hourly routine, still spending the time in front of my beloved TV watching VV dramas. Thanks to David again for subscribing to it during my maternity. I have watched more series in these 11 months than I have over the past 30 years!

- And now, I dont carry the freezer, pump machine and expressed milk around anymore. We just bring the formula powder when we go out and feed her breast milk in the morning and before she goes to bed.

Having read the above, I think it is enough to scare any mother-to-be away from breastfeeding. But surprisingly, I have never once seriously thought of stopping breastfeeding when I was going through that stage. I did complain and thought it was troublesome and joked about stopping but in my heart I wanted to carry on for my baby.

Just 2 weeks ago, I bought my very first tin of formula for Kaelyn and I realise that baby milk is VERY EXPENSIVE! We have been using free samples before this. Another motivation to carry on breastfeeding for as long as possible.. !

'I want Mama'

For the first time yesterday, I felt that Kaelyn really knows that I am her Mama. Usually, when David and I leave for work and we wave goodbye to her, she will just give us a quick glance and turn back to her toys, oblivious to the fact that she is not going to see us for another 10 hours or so. I thought she just doesnt know who we are and can be ok with anyone who's friendly with her..

Yesterday, during dinner, the girl is making a big fuss again, not wanting to finish her pasta. So David carried her out from the high chair. She refused to be appeased... until she saw me. The moment I walked towards her, she leaned towards me with outstretched arms and cried 'mama...mama...'! That was such a sweet and heartwarming moment. Of course I immediately took her from David's arms and she stopped whining and crying!! Awwww......

Photos

David's a photo taking fanatic. He has 3 cameras to date, and the latest addition (which we got more than a year back) is a digital SLR. It's bulky, it's heavy, it's troublesome to lug around... but all these do not bother him at all. He never fails to bring this camera wherever he goes with baby. He wants snap every precious moment of Kaelyn growing up. Looking back at our photo folder, I realise we have taken more than 1500 photos of Kaelyn to date - and she's only 10 months old.

I am actually glad that David has such an interest. The photos we took of Kaelyn really show how she has grown over the months, from a tiny wailing newborn, to an active mischievous and still wailing big baby.

The many faces of Kaelyn:

Wailing KaelynMischievous Kaelyn

Cheeky Kaelyn

Happy Kaelyn

Active Kaelyn

KPO Kaelyn (digging into my handbag..)

It's never easy to take photos of an active, moving baby. Needless to say, it's almost impossible to take a decent shot of 2 babies together..

Hello, look here at the camera!

Cousin Gaven: I want to take the photo alone, not with Kaelyn mei mei.
Kaelyn: Hey dont push me or I'll bite you!

Kaelyn: Hey, that's my garfield.
Cousin Gavn: I dont care, I want it!Kaelyn: Keep your hands off my garfield.
Cousin Gaven: Hey.

Finally they resolve their differences...

ET's finger

Since a month back, I realise Kaelyn's favourite action is to stick her left index finger out in the air. She's not exactly pointing to anything most of the time. It's just an action that she picked up from I dont know where. Although it may look really cute now, we're kind of worried this would stick with her when she grows up. At that time, I wouldnt label that as 'cute' anymore.

By the way, I call this action of hers - ET's finger.

A pose for the camera.

Errmmmm, let me think...

Hey, look there!

Dont you mess with me!