Memories of the First Month

How time flies! Kaelyn is already 1 month old. I have so many things I want to say about the first month but guess I should just keep them relatively short for now. Will expand on them in subsequent posts as we go along..

(1) Bringing Kaelyn home
I can never forget that day. Kaelyn wailed in the car from the hospital all the way back home. I thought babies are supposed to be lulled in cars.... Back home, tried to breastfeed her but she couldnt seem to be appeased. So I made my very first mistake - I tried to feed her the bottle of Similac milk the hospital gave me.... From then on, I just supplement her with formula when I think she does not have enough of my milk. Also learnt that newborns feel more secure when they are swaddled - my confinement lady did just that and she stopped crying immediately!

A family picture at TMC upon discharge

(2) Breastfeeding
Whoever says that breastfeeding was easy probably hasnt attempted it before. The idea may sound simple - just latch the baby on when she's hungry... but there are so many problems that come with it. My 3 biggest problems are improper latch on, bleeding nipple and insufficient milk supply. It's really tough!

(3) Baby blues
All that I heard about hormonal changes post pregnancy are true! After giving birth, I felt that I have lost control of my emotions. I get agitated and impatient easily, and I cant seem to stop my tears from flowing under certain circumstances. I cried when I have trouble breastfeeding Kaelyn, cried when I sing "Top of the world" to her, cried when I think of how miserable I was having to endure the episiotomy pain and feeding Kaelyn every 1.5 to 2 hours, cried when Sandy called to encourage me not to give up breastfeeding however tough it may be etc...

(4) Confinement
I've heard friends commenting on how the confinement month was the hardest to bear. I would agree with that - having to endure washing my hair only once every few days, bathing with some funny looking water, perspiring endlessly, eating the same boring food everyday. But the good thing about confinement is that you have someone looking after you and the baby. I felt really lost when the confinement nanny left.

(5) Motherhood
Overall, I would say that motherhood is tough. At the pregnancy stage, you have to put up with nauseousness, fatigue, giving up your favourite sports etc. During delivery, you have to endure the excruciating labour pains and the episiotomy pain thereafter. Then you have to struggle with breastfeeding, cope with baby blues / post natal depression, learn to care for a newborn, decipher her cries, worry when she has blocked nose, phlegm, cant poo etc. And lastly you'll look really tired and 'aunty', and ugly...

Ugly me during confinement

The Big Day

I have not been writing for more than 2 weeks. Yes, Kaelyn was born on 30 July 2007, at 8.03am. She weighed 3.53kg via natural birth with length of 50cm and head circumference of 33cm. I did not expect her to be 1 week early, though I know there is such a possibility. Here is an account of what happened on that day:

On the early morning of 30 July 2007 (Monday) at 1am, I felt a gush of warm liquid down my legs. I knew my water bag had burst and immediately woke David up. For a moment, both of us didnt know what to do. I quickly went to the bathroom to check and shower (i remembered Mrs Wong BB had said when water bag burst, we still have time for a quick shower but no time for shopping!). Meanwhile David called the labour ward to check what we had to do. After asking several questions, they told us to go down. While showering, I felt myself trembling the whole time, I think I was panicking...

Half an hour later at 1.30am, we were ready to leave for the hospital. I began to feel stomach pains which resembled the type of pain we get when we need to go to the loo. Believe it or not, I didnt know those were contractions (after all, it's my first time!). The pains went on and off throughout our journey to the hospital. When we reached the hospital the pain became more intense and unbearable that I had to be wheeled into the delivery observation room in a wheelchair.

In the observation ward, the nurses took my weight, blood sample and gave me enema. The pain was now so unbearable that I had to hug the sides of the bed to give me some slight comfort. They then wheeled me into the labour ward. The contraction was by now every 2 minutes and dilation at 3cm. While waiting for the doctor to administer my epidural, they gave me a gas mask to breathe in. That didnt help in easing the pain at all - just left me very giddy. I kept demanding for the epidural. It seemed like an eternity when Dr Lee finally arrived to administer the epidural. The pain of the injection entering my spine was nothing compared to the contractions.

After administering a full dosage of epidural, I felt an instant relief. No more pain, but I started to shiver uncontrollably - a side effect of the epidural. I prefer the constant shaking rather then the excruciating contraction pains! My lower half of my body was also totally numb.

So there I laid, with David by my side from 3am plus to 7 am plus, I think. During this time, the nurses kept coming in and out to monitor the contractions but no one updated us on the situation. We kept drifting in and out of sleep. Finally at 7am plus, my gynae Dr WK Tan came in and checked on the dilation. She said i was fully dilated and ready to deliver anytime. I was caught by surprise.

She soon started to prepare the instruments required for the labour. With David to help support my neck and thigh, I listened to Dr Tan's instructions to push. When the machine indicated there was a contraction, she asked me to breathe in deeply and push with all my might even though i could feel nothing down there. Within 3 pushes, the baby was out!
Dr Tan then proceeded to stitch up my wound (episiotomy) while the baby kept crying in the background. I was relief that the ordeal and experience of a lifetime is over! But there are many challenges ahead of us.